Thursday, June 25, 2015

Massacre in Charleston: No Words

Charleston Massacre Victims

The massacre at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, S.C. happened six days ago, June 17, 2015. 
It has taken six days for me to respond. 

This is unusual. 

I am an African American, a woman and a College Professor. 

I always have something to say. 

But this act, this senseless taking of innocent life, has left me speechless. 

I took a look at my Facebook and thought to myself, 


"Why have I not made any posts--what the heck is going on?" 


And, then to my dismay, I realized that I felt nothing, absolutely nothing about the killing of nine innocent Black people by a white stranger whom they had welcomed into their house of worship. 

I realized that I was numb, numb, you hear me! And you ask, "how can that be?"

Well, this tragedy is just the latest in a long line of incidents involving the loss of Black life at the hands of whites during my life time. I have no outrage because this kind of horror is normal in the US.  It is a constant happening in America. 

Police killings of unarmed black people, both women and men, happen on a regular basis. 

A bomb killed three little black girls in church one Sunday morning just as I and they were stepping out of Sunday school. Blacks are still being hung in the South and harassed on college campuses throughout the nation.  

I'm all cried out, I'm no longer incredulous, no longer shocked. I am numb!

Though it seems like nothing has changed, I would be lying if I said that was true. 

Though I started my education in segregated schools in the 50's, I was in the first integrated class in my hometown in the 60's. My teaching career has been in predominately white schools from the late 70's to the present. The president of the nation is African American, our major institutions are integrated, Millennials of all races work together and socialize freely with each other and people of colour are embedded in all facets of American life.

Yes, things have changed and yet, the malignancy of racism continues to survive. 

Those who were taken by race hatred include...
  • Cynthia Marie Graham Hurd 
  • Susie Jackson
  • Ethel Lee Lance 
  • Depayne Middleton-Doctor 
  • Clementa C. Pinckney
  • Tywanza Sanders 
  • Daniel Simmons 
  • Sharonda Coleman-Singleton 
  • Myra Thompson
The fight against racism is like fighting a hydra. 
We cut off one head and another emerges. 
This time the name of the head is Dylann Roof. 


Somebody, please wake me.

While I sit here are my desk ruminating about the state of America, I can also see the stack of books and papers I need to prepare for my Fall classes. 

In just a couple of months I will step into my classrooms with one-hundred 
new, bright and shiny faces. 

Students who will look to me for instruction and guidance in both academics and life. 
They come with hope, exuberance, and expectations of a bright future. 

They come from all walks of life: all races & ethnicities, genders & orientations, ages & classes, religions & abilities. 

In the face of this teeming life I cannot teach from a state of numbness.  
But, what am I to do with it?

There are many different causes of numbness. Numbness usually arises from a lack of blood supply to an area, nerve compression, or nerve damage. It is an abnormal state and is unhealthy. 


Who do I call on to help me emerge from this numbness? 

To the people of "good conscience" of all races who walked before me on this battle field...where can I go to rest? To my quiet place, where I can take time to reflect on the good? 

How can I restart the blood supply to my spiritual heart?

By removing the blockage of race hatred and race trauma I have suffered. 
What can I do to relieve the compression of my emotions: talk to others of like mind and those who are not?

When will the psychological trauma of the Charleston massacre heal? 
Never, but it will lessen with time and I will use it to motivate me to stay on the battlefield. 

The Healing Begins

My restoration begins as I look forward to and prepare for the new semester. I am already getting excited about the prospect of teaching students, not just about the problems of our society, but about their charge to make it anew, to make it better.  I can't wait to see the sense of empowerment they gain from the acquisition of new ideas and new skills that will enable them to thrive in our multicultural nation. 

I look forward to them acknowledging their differences from and similarities to all of humanity.  And, I hope that they weave a new fabric of American life: a fabric that is resistant to the stain of racism and the destruction of life in its wake. My vision is that each and every one of us will be a strong, healthy thread in the new multi-textured tomorrow. 

Apart, we are mere threads. Together, we can weave wonders.

This is America!







Marquita Byrd, Ph.D. 
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